35

So, it's 2009! Wow! Remember when we were kids and we thought that in the 2000's we would be wearing space suits and living somewhat like the Jetson's? Or, maybe that was just me. I've always had a wild imagination. I guess I never really thought much about being 35 and having kids the age mine are and being where I'm at now. When we are young we pretty much live in the moment and don't think much past our 20's. We like to think about getting that first boyfriend. That first kiss. Then our "Sweet Sixteen" and driver's liscence. Then of course graduation and our 18th birthday aren't far from that. Freedom, Adulthood, College! Whoohoo, here we come! Then of course we want that diamond ring and to set a date! And if we are really doing things the right way, the Wedding Night!! MMMHHMMM!! Then of course we want to have that sweet precious little baby a few years down the road!! And all the while we are saying "Jesus don't come back yet, just wait til I get this" But once we reach these milestones, then what? What's next on the agenda? For me, I got married at 20, had my first baby at 23, then my next at 26, mormon dr. said don't come back pregnant and I said HALLELUJA!!! Me and being preggers are not compatable. The next milestone was turning 30, which I did with open arms, I had no problem with 30, thought it was great. In fact I stayed 30 for 3 years! It finally hit me that I was 30 when I was 34, and my dad did an alter call one Sunday and asked for everyone under 30 to come down front and I couldn't go. I started crying. It dawned on me that youth was slipping away from me. I was getting closer to middle age than my 20's, and that didn't sit too well. Then my 35th birthday started getting close. That sucked to be blunt. I've never had an issue with age. Ever. For some reason, this year was really affecting me, especially since I know that 35 is not old It could be because my hormones are really screwed up right now, but that's a whole other story. I started talking to friends of mine in their 40's and 50's, and over half of them said that for some wierd reason, 35 was worse for them than 40. And none of them got it either. That made me feel better, like I wasn't too much of a freak, at least more than usual. So, I decided I'm going skydiving and getting a tattoo. Got the tattoo, it's awesome, I love it, a princess crown on my right shoulder blade area, purple and pink, and as soon as I get the money together I'm going skydiving. It looks like so much fun! I went with some friends this fall and watched, and it made me just really want to do it more. Can you say midlife crisis? So, you're asking me, "where is your faith in all this? Are you spending time with the Lord? Why aren't you talking about God?" Here's the deal. I do have lots of faith, of course not as much as I should have, it's always a work in progress with me. I'm constantly asking God to reveal His plan and purpose to me as to what He wants for me, and for John and I as a couple right now as far as ministry, after all He did call us into ministry. I do spend time with the Lord, probly not as much as I should. And I'm just not super spirtual like most people so I don't always talk about all the time I do spend or the things that do go on, because those are things that are for us. That's just me. I Love the Lord with everything in me and know that He has everything under control and one of these days will let me in on it! : ) So these are my ramblings, the life of a 35 yr old mom trying to find her place, herself and just figuring out the whole aging thing! Toodles!